arcanum.

three am, teeth gnashing and clashing with silence. whispering ghostsand ghouls might gossip but our...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:51:16 +0100

three am, teeth gnashing and
clashing with silence. whispering ghosts
and ghouls might gossip but our ears
can’t hear tonight, our mouths can’t care.

fucking like we were dying, breathing
like we were trying not to cry. wear me
out like your favourite pair of shoes,
cling to me like clothes caught in the
rain and the night to the moon.

break me if it means that you’ll see
why you love me again. break me
when you feel like you can’t see your
way out and i’m all that’s left, an anchor

keeping you grounded (holding me back,
he whispers in the dead of the night).
holding onto you like stars and gravity,
earth and suns.

my doctor closes his eyes when he sees me, taking my blood pressureand listening to the various...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:28:21 +0100

my doctor closes his eyes when he
sees me, taking my blood pressure
and listening to the various ways
that i’ve let myself down again.

there is a boy who lives in my dreams
wishing that i’d get well, he blesses the
sneezes and forgets to care sometimes,

most times. we’d do nothing at all but
scribble our thoughts across a discarded
napkin or envelope, brushed with dust
and what once was, history.

there is a howling in my wrists, wheezing
when i smile, brimming with hatred and
the desire to watch me drown.

i avoid corners and shadows, because they
might engulf me, they might strangle the
thoughts of stability and the smiles that caress
in the sun, in the daylight.

goodnight sleepyhead, i’ll wake you when it’s
over.

taint me, dye in my bloodyveins. chinks in my skeletalarmour, blemished with impurityand arched...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:27:47 +0100

taint me, dye in my bloody
veins. chinks in my skeletal
armour, blemished with impurity
and arched bones, cradling.

i wrote to an angel when i ws
eight years old, begging for the
love of a man in the clouds and
the salvation that blesses those
so pure, so undiluted.

i took a knife to my skin and a
bullet to my memories last august,
wishing for the nights to end and
the mornings to wash themselves
away, down a riverbank, down
a gutter.

leave me where you found me,
haunted.

i am forgettable; the realisationthat i was mediocre came hardand fast in the middle of a...

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 17:42:47 +0100

i am forgettable; the realisation
that i was mediocre came hard
and fast in the middle of a spring
night, shaking and sweating from
the terrors in my bones.

i will leave nothing, there shall be
no memorial coated in floral dresses
and awkward glances left behind.
this information is why there are scars,
pale white against flesh pulled and
twisted. this is why i fantasise about
sleeping until the end of time.

what else is there when you’re invisible?
when you’re nothing but a blotch in time
and the moving hideous nature of a world
so fraudulent, so lonely.

wherehavethewildthingsgone: I think this is lovely, not totally...

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 22:49:48 +0100

wherehavethewildthingsgone:

I think this is lovely, not totally lame.

i love her. but I wish she wouldn’t eat everything.

i used to mouth the feeling of being hungry, like a metaphorfor the abyss inside of my chest. the...

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 22:20:33 +0100

i used to mouth the feeling
of being hungry, like a metaphor
for the abyss inside of my chest.
the starvation echoed my hollow
lungs, full of blood and breath

but empty; caged bird, fleeting
to the sound of empty with fluid
draining the sides. i couldn’t
formulate the sadness trickling
down a throat of bile.

blurred lines and broken fingers,
the world fell softly away.

lose me, in the arteries of your heart. follow the darknessto my shadow and break the down the dams...

Mon, 27 May 2013 17:55:11 +0100

lose me, in the arteries of
your heart. follow the darkness
to my shadow and break
the down the dams behind
these eyes.

darling, you whisper in the
night of dead. we’re breathing
in hushes tones and pleading
for the sun to rise again.

goodnight, goodnight peter
pan. we’re stuck and slowing
at the rate of a dying old man
full of memories with nobody to
listen, nobody to care.

oranges and lemons said the
bells of st clements, bleed me
black and blue, brushed across
the streets of london.

i’m unhappy, like the night fallingasleep in the arms of saturn and the drift of the ocean...

Sun, 26 May 2013 00:45:53 +0100

i’m unhappy, like the night falling
asleep in the arms of saturn and
the drift of the ocean waiting with
baited breath.

hold on darling, there’s nothing like
being sober whilst you’re stinking of
booze; breaking in the husk of a
stranger’s heart whilst you’re waiting
for the tears to come, the night to
end and your real life to begin.

what more is there than tobacco
stains on your fingers, teeth and
lips, brushing the secrets that you
only utter when it’s dark. that
sometimes you even forget, i
don’t even know where i’m going.

i miss you sometimes, whilst you stare into the distance, holding my hand and watching the...

Fri, 24 May 2013 22:01:20 +0100

i miss you sometimes,
whilst you stare into the
distance, holding my hand

and watching the moon
whistle. i miss you in between
the cracks of our lives and
fingertips.

i get lonely, bone crackinglonely. shifted sighs and broken knees waltzing over glass. coffee spilt,...

Fri, 17 May 2013 15:48:58 +0100

i get lonely, bone cracking
lonely. shifted sighs and
broken knees waltzing over
glass. coffee spilt, from the
endless fatigue of a person
split in two, wishing for rain
and hoping for understanding.

watching you smoke cigarettes
hanging out of the window, ash
caught on your fingertips and
condensation mourning the
window; you’re turned away,
barely recognising my fears
and barely thinking, relishing
nicotine and the thoughts that
consume you.

i get restless, feet like flight
and wings like origami twisted
in my blood; waiting for the next
forecast of fear. we run, breaking
shins on the wind and rain, who
would know, if we left, leaving only
breath on a mirror and a shadow
of our former selves.

i need to lie down for a hundred years, thankingthe stars for princes andthieves. it’s cold...

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:45:36 +0100

i need to lie down for
a hundred years, thanking
the stars for princes and
thieves.

it’s cold down here on earth,
shivering with all the fears
of heaven and hell, picking
at goosebumps and scars
from a past life.

sing me to sleep, ivy wrapped
around wrists of ivory and
poison seeping into skin so
fair, so fine that veins lead
you home to my heart.

pushing waves against the wall to breathe against his weight, his depth,his great...

Thu, 09 May 2013 23:18:53 +0100

pushing waves against the wall to
breathe against his weight, his depth,
his great expectations.

curving spines with cracked ribs and
literature plastered on the inside of
elbows, wrists and knees.

needing, wanting, breathing and
dying in a cage, sucking on oxygen
but bleeding blue.

we lie on the ground and look at the
stars, feeling small. we could be great,
but it wouldn’t be enough.

i found seashells under my pillows,ethereal; their voices were callingand my dreams were...

Mon, 06 May 2013 12:09:44 +0100

i found seashells under my pillows,
ethereal; their voices were calling
and my dreams were plummeting.

deep breaths and deeper plunges,

jump. until you can’t breathe, until
there is sand and sea and fresh
air flushing from your lungs. be brave,
be bold. or walk away from that
cliff edge.

once upon a time, there was a story
that needed to be told. but i swallowed
her verse, when i swallowed my heart.

i could lock you into categories of my mind, flinging secrets and kissesfrom necks, mouths...

Sat, 04 May 2013 23:49:18 +0100

i could lock you into
categories of my mind,

flinging secrets and kisses
from necks, mouths and
wrists at the wall.

hating you for the worlds
we create, and the hope
we lose daily.

loving you for the words
you whisper in these ears,
blessing my fingertips and
locking my heart with a
silver key.

wherehavethewildthingsgone: Thomas and I got new glasses...

Sat, 04 May 2013 19:52:32 +0100

wherehavethewildthingsgone:

Thomas and I got new glasses yesterday!

I wouldn’t normally. But I feel like people need to appreciate how much I like my new glasses, how much better I can see, thereby increasing my ability to see the dross that I write! yay!

you’re the first, angel. you’re the breath and blood of my lungs, pulsingand beating for...

Fri, 03 May 2013 11:57:09 +0100

you’re the first, angel. you’re the
breath and blood of my lungs, pulsing
and beating for the whole world.

break down the elbows and knees
of a girl dying to love you. fucking
her from behind until you can stomach
your greed. snatching her up, shooting
her into your veins and scrambling for
more. why twist the arteries in your heart
to stop the guilt. why pretend that there is
more to life than this, when humanity
is shedding more blood than tears.

history is the story of the victors, said
a hero; the memories of those who
did not lose everything.

god looked down from his tower
once and sighed, he blew away
the toy soldiers and brought down
lightening and thunder, rumbling
through the hearts of his admirers.

i cut strands of dna away from my face. princess in a tower, i was crumbling. my mother cried,...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 17:32:05 +0100

i cut strands of dna
away from my face.
princess in a tower,

i was crumbling.

my mother cried, waves
of an ocean bleeding
over my soul

for the blonde mane
between my fingers;

and i sobbed, for the times
she could not see the
darkness in my chest
holding death like an
angel.

my teeth are shattered. bone creaking, cracking at the roots, at the nerves;a gaping black hole...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:43:38 +0100

my teeth are shattered. bone creaking,
cracking at the roots, at the nerves;
a gaping black hole where the tongue
used to lie, pot holes like broken
tarmac. like holes in a vein.

there’s zebra crossings on these
arms and legs; zig and zag. zag
and zig, where the knife became
blunt and the lines became dull.

i used to never eat but my blood
still tastes like metal.

hair pulled back, scraping your brain
for details, for the information that
you’re losing. cognitive degeneration,
you’re so numb that you’ve forgotten
how to spell, how to smile aloud.

crushed bones and rotten euphemisms,
a deity asked me for my truths and
secrets once, but he was just a boy with
a narcissistic complex, blue eyed boy.

wish me away with a breath so delicate that evendandelions could not quiver. souhaitez-moi de là,...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 15:27:37 +0100

wish me away

with a breath so
delicate that even
dandelions

could not quiver.

souhaitez-moi de là,
mon amour.

quiet now love, he whispers againstmy hair. so tragically breathinglike we belong to one another....

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:22:59 +0100

quiet now love, he whispers against
my hair. so tragically breathing
like we belong to one another. take my
heart and my hand; who needs chivalry
when you have fucking against cold
walls and solid unsteady promises.

you need to drink it all, you need to
take this in, before i take it all away.
who decides when the stars shine and
when the moon suggests that it’s night
now; who decides that god was a three
letter word for all mighty, and a synonym
for humanity living underneath a pedestal.

the wind is waging war on the leaves,
singing the lyrics to destruction and the
man who pulls down the trees. you have to
be quiet whilst they take your words and
leave your lips quivering. i thought i saw
a man that had a heart of stone, feet of
grass and a face of a cliff edge. but he is
gone, whispering and waiting.