goodnight boy who cannot
love, or breathe, or hold water
in his hands.
why couldn’t you hold my heart
delicately like skating on thin
ice, or breathing with fire.
we have loved for almost six
hundred days and it wasn’t
we have left the space in which
our hands can always find each
other in the dark.
goodnight boy, who cannot love
my hands, my eyelashes or the
way my heart beats too fast.
i was going to write a list of our
failings as not only a race,
but as a planet;
about our need to destroy everything
around us, because we want too much,
because we destroy with our desires.
god isn’t coming to save you honey,
even if you ask really nicely, even
if you pray really hard;
believe me, because i know, because
i prayed and begged and hoped
that he’d listen and make it stop.
we all have cupboards full of skeletons;
we’re natural hoarders: of love, of hearts
and of the secrets that we hide in the dark.
i was going to write a list of our flaws
because it’s really hard to see how beautiful
we are whilst we explode and combust.
do you remember how it feels to be complete?
i swore that i wouldn’t break
my fingers pushing against the
or let my ribs crush my heart
waiting on you again.
oh peter, you’ve got to grow
up. oh alice, what have
is there a sound if no one
can hear it? was it the chicken
or the egg? did we ever really
work out how to love one
endless questions that will
never soothe this plagued heart.
carryon-mywaywordson asked: hey! I just read your post on the "london student" page and I was just wondering if you could give me a review about king's? because i am planning on applying there next fall :D
That must’ve been a really long time ago because I don’t even remember it :p
Anyway, I can’t give you tooo much about Kings as I only did an intercollegiate course for a term there, I’m at Goldsmiths which is still part of the uni of London but only does arts and humanities. I study history and I enjoy cultural and social history, so kings didn’t suit me because it’s much more economical and political. I found it quite conservative and old fashioned, particularly with topics to study in history, the history dept is combined with war studies.
Saying that, one of my friends, Nicky, does Classics at Kings and she loves it. So perhaps if you’d like to speak to her, she’d be able to give you a much more in-depth review: http://colourofdistantlove.tumblr.com/
Kings is an amazing uni with a fantastic reputation, but it doesn’t suit everyone and it’s good to remember there’s other great uni’s. At the same time, I don’t know anybody who is a proper student of kings and disliked it. What’s great about the uni of london umbrella is that we can all take classes from other colleges in the uni of london, so even if you want a more social view etc you could go somewhere else for a class that explores that.
I hope that’s helpful? Sort of maybe?
I don’t know what to tell you darling, one day you’re not going to love me anymore and that is killing me. We can talk about how this is the best decision until we’re lying buried in a cemetery, but one day you’re going to love her, and she won’t be me.
she will have soft eyes and warm hands, she’ll love your flaws and she will love your perfected accent; you’ll go on those long walks that you always wanted and she’ll want to buy a house in the country with you. She’ll be everything you wanted in me, she’ll be everything that you’ve ever wanted. But she won’t be me, she won’t be the forever that we promised at four am in a musty basement flat.
one day I’ll find somebody who is almost a fairytale, he’ll have piercing eyes and sturdy hands. He’ll sweep me off my feet and hold my hand when I wake up at night disoriented.
someday soon, you won’t love me anymore and that is killing me.
goodbye, the word aloud does
not sound as cold as the shivers
in my heart or the night without
stars. it sounds like see you
tomorrow with pockets full of ocean
waves and pebbles from the beach.
goodnight, the last word I’ll give
you before I have to go away.
it stutters and has a false start but
nobody has the words to make it
go, to make it shine anymore.
I snapped us in half like a twig,
like a wishbone (but we’re all
out of luck)
I asked you where you loved me
and you stared at your hands like
you were still searching.
today I bought a new sofa; curled
up in the womb of ikea, I inhale
wooden fumes, wondering why we
can’t act like we’re in love anymore.
wind ripped through the veins
of an ocean; foam and sea salt.
waves blew against the cliffs
and the sand was swept away
like how the night ended alone.
I miss you, I miss you like the
world has been ripped open
and I love our memories more
than I can remember when the
sun last shone, when it last rose.
citrus fruit lies in the dark, broken
porcelain and blood stains against
the sink. oranges were split open
with banana skins left to rot, the
day begun whilst everybody slept.
hello and goodbye. we hid our feelings
in coffee mugs and smoked cigarettes
in the dark, there was nothing left for us;
nothing left to lose.
we laid beside each other on the
sand, we pretended that we were
searching for the stars but all I
wanted was your hand, your heart.
We have a very lovely kitty that needs a home guys. The vet said she’s a feral kitten, she’s about six months old but is very lovely. She doesn’t like jellybean, so we can’t keep her and the alternative is giving her to a shelter and I really would rather she went to a lovely home. She’s adorable, very affectionate and purrs so loudly that she vibrates. She loves curling up in the warm, we de-flead her and she is much calmer now and is eating normally. I think she’ll only get more lovely and playful with lots of love, patience and attention. She’s a little skittish so would probably do best with no children or other animals, but would get used to a few different people I think. Please let me know if you can give this lovely kitty a home.
We’re based in london, but obviously anyone in the UK could come and get her :)
'She did it again' uttered
in hush tones, spat through
is what I imagine my mother
would say, or had said, on the
third, fourth and fifth time.
I wouldn’t know the words
she actually said, because she
never came, to say hello or
I’m so sorry you feel too much.
(or perhaps, I don’t feel enough.)
a secret, we could not mention,
we could not splutter or breathe
too loudly in case it blew up, so
instead, we wait for it to blow over.